Why does Satan give food stamps to poor people?

I got laid off of my job a while back, and was applying for food stamps. I listed my pastor as a reference on the application, and I got approved. My pastor called me about a week later, and asked why I was applying; I told him that I had gotten laid off and could not find a job. He told me that food stamps are a dying program that steals from the pious in order to give to the damned; I further learned that only evil would enable sloth by not having people work and rewarding them for their laziness; I now realize that I must work to dig through garbage cans for food; I have taken my spirituality to the next level, and I could not be happier; I feel sure that I am amongst the elect. But, why is it that I must suffer to be pious; why does Satan help the poor?